The exact origins of Swamp Donkey have been lost as time has passed but it is believed that she was discovered in a field near Salisbury in around 2002.
Swamp Donkey appears annually in approximately November and can be sighted regularly through the winter months. If the winter is followed by a soggy spring and summer then Swamp Donkey may stay throughout the year.
Swamp Donkey is not easily spotted on a grey, muddy day because she is usually camouflaged i.e. covered from head to toe in mud.
This problem was partially rectified in Autumn of 2014 with the purchase of bright pink Wellington boots – however on the wettest, coldest days these are of no use to those who wish to find Swamp Donkey because they are probably up to 85% obscured by waterproof trousers.
In this picture – a rare sighting of Swamp Donkey, captured in a Cotswold glasshouse – she can be seen wearing the famous Wellington boots (bright pink flash only just visible near the sole), thick waterproof trousers, knee pads, padded winter coat with a holster for secateurs seen circling the waist, a woolly hat and a goofy smile. The gloves are missing – maybe they are already sodden and drying out on a radiator somewhere.
Swamp Donkey is a simple creature. As long as she has access to a regular supply of dry clothes and plenty of chocolate based snacks she will carry on regardless of adverse weather.
However, even Swamp Donkey knows that sometimes it is just too wet / frozen / windy to garden because she will cause more damage than good.
Be kind to Swamp Donkey – she may look like a hobo but she is very approachable and generally knows what she is doing.